Tuesday will mark my second wedding anniversary. I can't believe two years went by so fast. Overall, N and I have been together for five years. There are now people in my life who do not know my maiden name. I remember our wedding day as it were yesterday. I go there in my mind sometimes. Sort of like a "happy place" to go to when things get rough, or sad, or stressful. He really is the most amazing man. I think that if every person had a person like N in their lives, there would be an outbreak of world peace. How did I get so lucky? I'm difficult, cynical, moody, messy and an overall pain in the ass. But he loves me. He loves me unconditionally. I still, after all these years, can't believe it. We used this Pablo Neruda sonnet in our wedding ceremony and I came across it again tonight while paging through a new book I bought today. It's really us.......it was perfect then, and it's perfect now.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I do not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.