Thursday, March 14, 2013

School Yard Bullies; All Grown Up

Boy, have I been away from this blog for quite some time.  I have mucho updating to do.  There's been some light (I lost 115 pounds!  My kid is spectacular!).  There's also been some dark (My father died suddenly!).  I will cover all those awesome and horrible things but today, I need to talk about bullies.  Like, I really really need to get this off my chest.

Bullying is a huge issue right now.  With KIDS.  I think that the world, at large, has been doing a great job about raising awareness and fighting bullying.  However, everyone seems to forget that "bullies" don't just disappear once you don that graduation cap.  They grow up to become ADULT bullies which, in my opinion, are far worse. 

They are in your social circles.  You may call them "frienemies".  What a cutsie little nickname for a person that can pretty much ruin your entire social life.

Are you a parent?  Yes?  Well, I've got news for you.  Other mommies are the nastiest of the bunch.  Instead of supporting each other and appreciating (or at least tolerating) the fact that there are a million ways to raise a child, they would just as soon stab you right in the front (no backstabbing here!  not for these cut-throat ladies!  right in the gut!).

And personal favorite......

Workplace bullies. 

The internet told me the following facts:

  • The Phenomena of “work place bullying and mobbing” is little known, which is surprising, since it affects 70% of working Americans at some time in their career.
  • According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, an abusive boss is more likely to be a woman than a man. Woman to woman bullying represents 50 percent of all workplace bullying; man to woman is 30 percent, man to man 12 percent and woman to man bullying is extremely rare — only 8 percent.
  • In 2008, Dr. Judy Fisher-Blando wrote a doctoral research dissertation on Aggressive Behavior: Workplace Bullying and Its Effect on Job Satisfaction and Productivity. The scientific study determined that almost 75% of employees surveyed had been affected by workplace bullying, whether as a target or a witness. Source
  • A European study from 2009 showed that the risk for bullying increased with a woman as boss. For women the risk of getting abused increased with 100 percent with a female boss. For men the risk increased with 80 percent. The study was made by the organisation Eurofond and included 21 000 participants. Source
I didn't do any fact checking.  It's just my blog after all.  However, I'm lead to believe this is true.  I've never ever had a problem with a male boss.  (Except my boss at the Hershey Red Robin that once said my ass was too fat to be a waitress).  Female bosses, on the other hand, I've really struggled with.  I don't know what it is.  I've always had female friends.  I've had some really awesome female bosses and have worked with many women in positions of authority.  I've even held some positions of authority myself.   I just can't deal with being bullied, disrespected and basically....abused.  It's like a perfect storm of a hostile working environment. 

All that being said, if you were in this position, how would you handle an abusive boss or co-worker?  Would you handle it passively.....just take the abuse?  Would you begin to bully the bully?  Or is there another way?  Share your stories with me.

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